THE GRIEF RECOVERY HANDBOOK
One of the books that really helped me and my husband deal with the
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. It is a step-by-step program for moving beyond loss. It was originally written in 1988. I recently rediscovered this book. It has now been printed into the 20th Anniversary Expanded edition. This book is not just about grieving after a death; it also discusses other losses such as divorce, health, career, and faith. The two authors, John W. James and Russell Friedman, are also founders of The Grief Recovery Institute.
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The authors believe that as a society we do not know how to grieve, in fact we avoid it at all costs and most of our friends and relatives are ill prepared to help us. James and Friedman want us to realize that we need to help ourselves; we can’t expect lay people who haven’t experienced the loss of a loved one to guide us. The book leads us through various steps and basic assignments, like making a Loss History Graph, a Relationship Graph, and A Completion Letter.
When I did this work with my husband in 1997, I found the graphing very educational and surprisingly helpful as to my past history as well as to the time of Robb’s death. It was only then that I realized that many other losses I’d encountered during my lifetime were still hanging on and nagging at me because I’d never dealt with them, including things like moving out of state at the end of my junior year in high school, three miscarriages after my first child was born, and loss of my grandparents and parents along the way. One can do this work singly or with a partner. My husband and I did it together. You are guided through each step meeting with your partner six times to be exact and at each meeting you cover a new topic. You will discuss your feelings, no intellectualizing.
If you’re a person who’s serious about stepping up your grief process, this book will show you the way. As it says on the back of the book, “Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories as well as from others’, the authors illustrate how it is possible to recover from grief and regain energy and spontaneity. The Grief Recovery Handbook, The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death
They have also added a new segment starting on page 167 to 208 to help cover the other possible losses one might experience. That list might include: which loss you should work on first, how to deal with growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home, loss of faith, career, health, and much, much more. I highly recommend this book.